A long time ago, a wilderness rescue volunteer told me about how, when lost in the wilderness, the body can fall into a negative feedback loop of cold -> dehydrated -> hungry -> cold. He said that, on rescues, he always carried both water and candy bars for the people being rescued.

A less-long time ago, I had a friend who worked at a startup and had gotten into a cycle of staying at the office until after midnight, then coming home and passing out, then procrastinating going to work and procrastinating at work the next day, and finally feeling guilty about the procrastination and staying until after midnight. He burned out after a year or so.

My first thesis is that the negative time -> energy -> focus loop is a common trap for software engineers (and probably all knowledge workers):

• when work takes extra time, you work late
• when you work late, you’re tired the next day
• when you’re tired, it’s hard to focus
• when it’s hard to focus, your work takes extra time

I think this can particularly affect parents, who are often unavoidably tired, unavoidably time-constrained, and feel especially guilty about their reduced focus.

My second thesis is that when you’re trapped in the whirlpool, the only way out is to recognize what’s happening and break the cycle. This means not working late and choosing sleep, even when you’re stressed. You don’t have to achieve perfect sleep hygiene, but energy and focus need to improve significantly before time can start coming back.